Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Duck Duck Cougar?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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