Kiss
Puke
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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