just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
