NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
