we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
