I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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