i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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