never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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