Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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