I wish my penis had an off switch
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on