Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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