Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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