Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
