hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You don't make any sense
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