At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
