hotel room ftw
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
