all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
