I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
