i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
