You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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