just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
