This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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