Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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