Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
