**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize