Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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