i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
