She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My penis needs a shock collar
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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