I accidentally had phone sex last night
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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