i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
