Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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