Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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