guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
