the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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