I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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