trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
