How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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