is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
