Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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