I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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