we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
