Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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