Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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