That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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