D3 body, D1 cock
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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