I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
