my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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