R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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