I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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