GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
