no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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