my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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