I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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