Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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