i just google imaged poop.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
