I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
