shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
