you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
