Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.