Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed

(787): View more from Puerto Rico

you smoke with your eyes?

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(917): View more from New York City

I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina

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(602): View more from Arizona

I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(510): View more from California

you told grandpa to call you daddy

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.

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(620): View more from Kansas

The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.

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