no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We need to rekindle our bromance
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
