dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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